It’s incredible how even the smallest throwaway comments can have significant effects on a person’s emotions and frame of mind. And this is even true of a hard-assed old bastard like me, who is consistent and level-headed to a fault.
I was listening to a remix on YouTube about which the uploader commented that “This artist has improved considerably in just four months.” I felt a genuine pang of jealousy for people who have so few responsibilities and the luxury of devoting four months of concerted effort to... well, anything. The point is that they have such time at their disposal. To me, four months’ worth of useful time seems like all the riches in the world.
I do admire the person in question for applying himself so conscientiously to his art. It is very commendable that he didn’t fritter away those four months on gaming or drugs or chasing tail or any of the other myriad inconsequential things he could have chosen to do. And in truth, I chose my responsibilities myself, and it is my own decision to continue meeting them. I have no misconceptions about the causes of my cruel temporal poverty.
Also, I would not trade the insights I have gained for the luxury of more time. If my life had been easier, I doubt very much that I would be on such profoundly good terms with the universe now, and the sense of understanding and being a part of all things is worth more than all the riches in the world anyway.
However, I would be lying if I didn’t say I dream of having some real time to spend on more beautiful things one day. And I’m sure that when the time comes, I shall apply myself to attaining this goal.
I am a man of action, and I do what is required to achieve my objectives.